When you are a child, you grow up with the unresolved pains and fears of your familylines/teachers/society, tribal awareness
When you are a child and have been born in the 60ties, you grow up with the unresolved pains and fears of your familylines and teachers/society, tribal awareness. You automatically copy and paste the behaviours of the caretakers/elders/teachers, because that is your example!! As a child you trust this to be good….but you sense pain… but nobody talks openly about this…
And so me as a very high sensitive BEing, I now see clearly that I used my survival protection/ego old system, to be able to cope. I cried a lot.. not feeling understood. I did not know then that I closed off myself, for what I felt around me was too much of pain and old programming. And being a sensitive cancer sign also 
was challenging.
And so I carried all of others in my system and as you can understand this is too much.. and so when I got cancer, I first needed to step out of a non working marriage and be there for me. Loving myself and listening what I needed. Be the pure child again and be joy. I started to reveil these old programs and up to now releasing. From this and old lifetimes
. Releasing the darkness in me and old programming to be free to flow in love.
And it is brave to go deepsouldiving to release that what is not yours or you thought it was for you to carry!!
So you return to the pure soul of love and light that you originally are.
It is a process, for me this familyline deepsouldiving resently cleared the last remnants.
I now choose to use my qualities of being sensitive into fuitation of the love and light, and am able now to bring my energy intent to that what resonates in my heart. The energy of the Goddess returned home. Every day I learn again to be my best version and follow my hearts dreams and wishes, of what I may bring to this lifetime to assist in restoring our lives on planet earth.
My heart knows what is best to resonate for me. I AM MY OWN FATHER, I AM MY OWN MOTHER, I AM MY OWN CHILD,
eternal trinity in me.
You can only change you, it is a choise to bring in love again and again. Your egomind will do its very best to “control your fears and feed them”, specially now the media is hypnotising you on your fears… for it has been our survival protectionsystem for a long time…so now we learn again to trust our INTUITION AND OUR HEART. And that feels sooooo gooood now!!
And see clearly through the old programming… you just inner know.. you feel it when your mind is distracting you with fears….ahh have a look at it…that what is not coming from your heart is showing you to be restored.
BE the example you love to see around you.
Lets rock this world, parytime
Much love to you, Esnadi 
